Like The Onion, if it was an organic onion from a sustainable permaculture forest farm

Point/counterpoint concerning Central Square's newest cafe, which we have taken to calling Soytopia.

Point: Remission of sins for $4.29

From my inbox:

Gang, I just saw the Clear Conscience Cafe in full swing for the first time, and damn! It looked like just the sort of place where I hung out in college, which is to say, it's comically pretentious: Simon & Garfunkel (playing on a sound system so perfect I actually thought it must be a live cover band), concerned-looking latter-day Joan Baez-types with visions of women's microcredit co-ops in coastal Guyana dancing through their heads, and some older cats who should know better wearing dashiki-like costumes that leave no doubt that they listen to a lot of "world music."

If you want to expurgate your white guilt for the price of a chai latte made by a stoner taking his own sweet time, it is the place for you. I strongly urge us to hang there one evening and scandalize people by talking in loud voices about how Sinopec can invest in Darfur if they damn well please as long as they keep oil flowing to fuel industrial progress.

Counterpoint: Clear Conscience Cafe? Hardly!

From Bostonvegan.org:

As I was walking up to the co-op, a new sign caught my eye. "What is the Clear Conscience Cafe?" I thought to myself. [...] I was hoping the new sign meant a vegan cafe had opened next door or above the co-op. After all, who else has a clear conscience when they eat? (Well, maybe only local, organic, sustainable, seasonal food-eating vegans can be entirely free of guilt, but still...) [...]

The cynic in me had anticipated what I discovered as I entered the co-op, passing through the new cafe area. The Clear Conscience Cafe was indeed just a new name for the recently revamped Harvest Cafe. And, moreover, they're still serving animal flesh and secretions.